August Hurts

August is here again.

I have spent the month of August for the last few years hiding from the world. I think this year will be different for me though. I lost someone who meant very much to me during the month of August, and for the last few years, I have met this month with so much fear and heartache there were moments I felt I would literally die of a broken heart. I faced my loss with the mentality that with it went my hopes, my dreams, my heart and my life.

Have you ever been there?

Are you there now?

There are points when it feels like life just happens to us, and we realize we do not have control over the storms of life. There are times when we are tossed by the waves of pain and the waters of sorrow and loss feel so vast we think we'll drown there in our pain. The truth is, if you allow it to happen, you will. If you allow the waters of despair to consume you, they will swallow you up.

It doesn't have to be that way though.

Pain will come. We will all experience loss. Anger may arise. Give it to God.

Give it ALL to God.

August hurts. Four years later, there are still moments when August hurts so bad I can't breathe. But August won't last forever. September will be here soon, and with that knowledge peace fills my soul.

I know my Father will walk with me through this month, through all my months.

I know His hand will catch mine when I am afraid.

I have faith in His guidance when I am blinded by tears.

I believe in His promise to carry me when my legs are to weak to walk.

His light will guide me when I cannot see ahead of me.

These promises are not for me alone. They are yours as well. Just believe.

I was right in believing my life had ended, the life I knew was gone, but not the life I was promised. My heart was broken, but only so my Heavenly Father could replace it with His heart. My dreams were shaken, but only so I could realize the dreams my God has for me. My hopes were shattered, but only so my God could show me the hopes He had for me.

Psalm 46
¹God is our mighty fortress,

   always ready to help
   in times of trouble.
    ²And so, we won't be afraid!
   Let the earth tremble
   and the mountains tumble
   into the deepest sea.
    ³Let the ocean roar and foam,
   and its raging waves
   shake the mountains.
    ⁴A river and its streams
   bring joy to the city,
   which is the sacred home
   of God Most High.
    ⁵God is in that city,
   and it won't be shaken.
   He will help it at dawn.
    ⁶Nations rage! Kingdoms fall!
   But at the voice of God
   the earth itself melts.
    ⁷The LORD All-Powerful
   is with us.
   The God of Jacob
   is our fortress.
    ⁸Come! See the fearsome things
   the LORD has done on earth.
    ⁹God brings wars to an end
   all over the world.
   He breaks the arrows,
   shatters the spears,
   and burns the shields. ^{[a] 10}Our God says, "Calm down,
   and learn that I am God!
   All nations on earth
   will honor me."
    ¹¹The LORD All-Powerful
   is with us.

   The God of Jacob

   is our fortress.

Nails in the Fence

The story below was forwarded to an entire school district by the district superintendent. I think this story is a beautiful example of the effects our words and actions have on people. God has blessed us with an opportunity to show people what it means to love and be loved by Him every time we encounter another person. I think there are times when we all forget about this whether we're frustrated at a check out counter, waiting in a drive through or out with a friend, our actions are an example of how we let the Father shine through and in us.

Nails In The Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out but it won't matter how many times you say “I'm sorry”, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Grace

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

God's grace is such a beautiful gift. If you have had any difficulties in receiving and accepting His grace, I pray that away. Let yourself fall into His arms and let His grace and mercy cover you. Let Him wrap you in a Heavenly embrace today and let Him guide your heart toward His. Accept it and praise Him for it. Amen.

Philippians 1:6

...There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears... Philippians 1:6

As I move through my new life with Christ, I am amazed at how I continue to grow. The changes His mercy has guided me through has been nothing short of extraordinary.

He has granted me the privilege of serving Him, and I have seen the blessings that come from complete surrender. This however comes with a cost. We must pay the price to experience life as He has intended it. At first, the price seems high, all He asks of us is everything we are. That's right, He asks that we surrender everything we think we are in order to become the people He intended us to be. I can honestly say, once you begin the journey, there is no end. You continue to grow and you are renewed every moment of your life. Following Him is not easy, I can honestly say it's been one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but the end result is well worth it. The journey I am on is more beautiful than I can describe, and all it cost me was everything. I received more from my Heavenly Father than I had to offer Him.

He will  continue working in me. His transformation will never be complete, and until He returns, I will serve Him. Amen.

baggage

I have baggage... probably enough to travel around the world several times. Eventually there comes a point when you need to sit down with God and unpack your bags. I'm warning you though, as will all steps towards healing this isn't very easy. It is however a beautiful process. One of my favorite quotes is from Stephen King, he once described something as "poisonous inspiration" I loved that phrase immediately. Life is so full of wonder, that when something comes along and truly inspires me it feels poisonous. It engulfs my entire being and becomes a catalyst for change and moves me closer to God. I look for it, I seek it and as I move towards, I face God on new levels. Each day Jesus calls to each one of us, and some days it is easier than others to answer, I'll admit, there are times when I am terrified of picking up the phone! However, even though it feels easier to just ignore the call, it's always worth the risk of answering.

I was put to the test recently, and a part of me just wanted to give in. God found a way to break through even though I didn't want Him to, and the results of His divine intervention are more beautiful than if I had just allowed myself to turn away. God understands everything we go through. Jesus was fully human and fully God. Because the Son was human, He completely understands our hurt, our anger, our fear and our weakness. Through all this, He can bring us a better sense of hope, of love, He can completely restore our joy, and He can give us strength beyond our comprehension.

Hold tight my friend, and trust in God to carry you when He needs to, and to walk alongside you. I can't promise smooth sailing, but I can assure you that our Heavenly Father will be with you. If, after all I have been through in my life He is still with me, I know no matter where your journey is taking you, He will never leave you. He has promised this to us all, and He will NEVER break His promises to us!


Hebrews 13:5
...God has said,
   “Never will I leave you;
   never will I forsake you.”

Seek

"'...a reaction is started when we earnestly seek after God in His word and prayer. The attributes of Christ begin to appear in our lives...' This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. – John 15:8"

This was written in one of my devotions this week, and I can't help but think of the ways in wich life can sometimes seem so cruel to us. My personal journey is pointing me in the direction of facing those that would discourage me daily. I am having to look at all the sources of doubt and denial in my life and I have a choice to make. I can give into the doubts as I have so many times before or I can trust in my Savior and continue to push through my stuggles.

The funny thing is, there are times when it seems the source of the "you can't do it" 's and the "you're not good enough" 's are family and friends. Those people we look to for support and love can sometimes be the biggest hinderances on our journeys. Christine Caine once said "who needs the devil when you've got well-meaning Christians..." This will happen no matter where your journey is taking you, you will hit a point when it seems like you were wrong in believing you were meant to take the path you did. If you are wrong, God will lead you out. If you are on the right path, The Father will guide you through any obstical.

Don't lose heart my friend and don't give up! Seek God in your prayer time. Read His word daily - multiple times if necessary!! - and remember seeking Him and following Him will leave you with a more full and wonderful life than giving into any doubts or fear.

Reflection

This blog has been quiet for a while now, I apologize to the one of you I know looks at it regularly =) lol =) I have spent some time over the last month really just listening to God, and I felt that the Spirit was asking me for some time of just listening.

It's so rare that most of us (especially me!) can find the courage to stop talking at god and to just listen. I realized over the last few weeks that my God wants so badly for me to shut my mouth and listen to what He has for me; and I realized the more I press into Him, the more I thirst for His voice! It's really mind boggling how the "problems" of life don't seem so over whelming when you can rest in the certainty of a relationship with Christ.

I've hit a few stumbling blocks lately. You know those grey areas of life when you re basically walking on a tight rope and you run really fast across it... so you make it to the other side, but you miss all the beautiful scenery along the way?? .....maybe that's just me... but that's where I was. I was running through life so quickly that God called me to slow down- in some areas stop all together and to spend time with Him.

If you have never done that, or haven't done it in a while, I strongly encourage you to do it NOW!!! It's so refreshing! I was reminded of why I was called into His service, I spent time reflecting on who I was, who I am becoming, and who I pray I will be some day. I really spent time worshiping my Father, not just raising my hands to a song, but remembering the very breath of worship in me! Living worship, and resting in His presence! If this is making sense to you, then you've been there, and you know the sweet feeling of knowing you are wrapped in His love. If this doesn't make sense, then I pray you are able to take some time - even if it's just 15 minutes - and let Him hug you! I promise, it's worth it!

How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge and put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
Psalm 36: 7