August Hurts

August is here again.

I have spent the month of August for the last few years hiding from the world. I think this year will be different for me though. I lost someone who meant very much to me during the month of August, and for the last few years, I have met this month with so much fear and heartache there were moments I felt I would literally die of a broken heart. I faced my loss with the mentality that with it went my hopes, my dreams, my heart and my life.

Have you ever been there?

Are you there now?

There are points when it feels like life just happens to us, and we realize we do not have control over the storms of life. There are times when we are tossed by the waves of pain and the waters of sorrow and loss feel so vast we think we'll drown there in our pain. The truth is, if you allow it to happen, you will. If you allow the waters of despair to consume you, they will swallow you up.

It doesn't have to be that way though.

Pain will come. We will all experience loss. Anger may arise. Give it to God.

Give it ALL to God.

August hurts. Four years later, there are still moments when August hurts so bad I can't breathe. But August won't last forever. September will be here soon, and with that knowledge peace fills my soul.

I know my Father will walk with me through this month, through all my months.

I know His hand will catch mine when I am afraid.

I have faith in His guidance when I am blinded by tears.

I believe in His promise to carry me when my legs are to weak to walk.

His light will guide me when I cannot see ahead of me.

These promises are not for me alone. They are yours as well. Just believe.

I was right in believing my life had ended, the life I knew was gone, but not the life I was promised. My heart was broken, but only so my Heavenly Father could replace it with His heart. My dreams were shaken, but only so I could realize the dreams my God has for me. My hopes were shattered, but only so my God could show me the hopes He had for me.

Psalm 46
¹God is our mighty fortress,

   always ready to help
   in times of trouble.
    ²And so, we won't be afraid!
   Let the earth tremble
   and the mountains tumble
   into the deepest sea.
    ³Let the ocean roar and foam,
   and its raging waves
   shake the mountains.
    ⁴A river and its streams
   bring joy to the city,
   which is the sacred home
   of God Most High.
    ⁵God is in that city,
   and it won't be shaken.
   He will help it at dawn.
    ⁶Nations rage! Kingdoms fall!
   But at the voice of God
   the earth itself melts.
    ⁷The LORD All-Powerful
   is with us.
   The God of Jacob
   is our fortress.
    ⁸Come! See the fearsome things
   the LORD has done on earth.
    ⁹God brings wars to an end
   all over the world.
   He breaks the arrows,
   shatters the spears,
   and burns the shields. ^{[a] 10}Our God says, "Calm down,
   and learn that I am God!
   All nations on earth
   will honor me."
    ¹¹The LORD All-Powerful
   is with us.

   The God of Jacob

   is our fortress.